


Death Notification

by trollmela



Series: So Far Away [1]
Category: NCIS, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-17 12:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16516892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trollmela/pseuds/trollmela
Summary: It took two months. And then he came and it felt like Tony’s heart plummeted down to his stomach. They’d never met, but Tony knew his face because Daniel had sent him pictures of his team. And that right there was his CO in service dress, shoes probably shining down to the smallest crease of leather.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in 2002 after Daniel’s death in Meridian. Tony joined NCIS in 2001, Kate joined in 2003, which is the start of the NCIS series. I couldn’t find a date for when Daniel died, so I picked the date the episode was aired plus two days.

It took two months. For two months he heard nothing. There’d been some periods were Daniel had been out of contact for a few weeks, and the next call had been full of apologies. But it had never taken this long, and his dread had grown the longer the silence lasted.

And then he came and it felt like Tony’s heart plummeted down to his stomach. They’d never met, but Tony knew his face because Daniel had sent him pictures of his team. And that right there was Daniel’s CO in service dress, shoes probably shining down to the smallest crease of leather. He was alone, which went against everything Tony had learnt as a young cop: never be on your own when you give the news.

Their eyes met over the chaos of agents milling around or working more or less animatedly at their desk. A few had already caught sight of the visitor, who was being accompanied by Dave from downstairs at the desk. They didn’t often see Air Force in full uniform here. The colonel ignored the attention.

Apparently he didn’t need introductions either; he made his way directly to Tony, mouth set into the grim line of a man forced to do something he really didn’t want to do.

He stopped in front of Tony’s desk. “Anthony DiNozzo?”

Tony nodded and rose to his feet. “Colonel Jack O’Neill, I presume.”

The man gave a tight nod. His dark eyes swept the area, while Tony tried to ignore the stare from Gibbs. He wasn’t very successful.

“Colonel? Is there a problem?” Gibbs asked in that carefully controlled voice, low and smooth, which told Tony that his boss knew something deeper was going on here; something that hurt.

“I’m not here... in an official capacity. Not for NCIS anyway,” O’Neill replied. Then he turned back to Tony.

“Can we walk? I would have caught you at home, but-“

Tony nodded, and the other man trailed off. Tony was home late these days, and O’Neill didn’t make trips to Washington very often either. He might be leaving soon, needed elsewhere, or who knew what. It was going to happen now. But not here at the NCIS office.

“Boss-“

“Take your time,” Gibbs replied before Tony could even finish his request.

 

July in DC was hot and muggy. A fleeting expression of irritation flashed over O’Neill’s face, proving that he wasn’t an unfeeling statue in that uniform after all, and that was a lot more like the man Tony had heard about. But then the blank-faced colonel returned. Mostly at least. He was studying Tony from the side with quick but probing looks.

Tony had been planning to take this as far from the Navy Yard and people as he could, but he ended up blurting out:

“Is he dead?” long before they made it to the bench at the basketball court he’d been aiming for.

Ever since becoming a cop, Tony had imagined what it would be like to be on the other side of that message. He’d seen all kinds of reactions to death – loud and quiet, acceptance and denial, grief and indifference – and he’d always sworn to himself that he wouldn’t become hysterical; anything was better than that.

Now he didn’t even feel like crying and, in a way, that was almost worse. Would O’Neill think that Tony didn’t care enough about Daniel? That the distance had been too much?

O’Neill breathed out. “Yes.”

Daniel had joked once that he’d been declared dead before, but it hadn’t taken, and luckily his team mates had ultimately found him. Tony didn’t know the details, because he couldn’t know any kind of detail, even a small insignificant detail about Daniel’s extremely classified job. That had been before they met, and as if their long-distance relationship hadn’t been difficult enough, they’d both had to confess to jobs that were dangerous and that they couldn’t always talk about. It should have been a relief to share that, made it easier, but in some ways it hadn’t.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come out earlier. I ... Daniel didn’t leave me many clues for finding you.”

And that had been another aspect of their relationship: secrecy. They kept secrets from each other and they kept more secrets from others. If Daniel had ever mentioned his name, his friends might have thought that Tony was a Toni – a female Toni, probably with a PhD behind her name, maybe a pair of glasses, and stunning looks like Daniel’s previous girlfriends; because they’d never known about the boyfriends.

Tony wasn’t any of those things. Tony was a cop turned NCIS agent who had no plans of outing himself as bisexual at work, and Daniel had worked so closely with the Air Force that it was simply better not to say “My boyfriend is coming for a visit” or to be seen together in Colorado Springs; for all its size, it was more of a village with no privacy and too high risks.

“Thank you for doing it anyway,” Tony forced out.

O’Neill nodded. “I didn’t know Daniel-“

He didn’t finish his sentence. Tony’s lips twisted into a parody of a smile.

“Don’t take it personally. But neither of us were really in a good position to talk about it. So we didn’t.”

Tony didn’t add that Daniel had thought about telling Jack about them. Daniel had considered Jack to be his best friend, although Tony had wondered whether a lack of options had contributed to that; he knew how it was when your hours were so long and irregular that you didn’t meet many people outside of work anymore. But there’d been a rough patch, some decisions Jack had made that Daniel hadn’t supported and that had shaken his faith in the other man, perhaps even his trust. Tony didn’t say any of that. Perhaps the Colonel knew that now anyway.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

O’Neill shifted, and Tony anticipated the ‘no’ before it came. He gave the other man credit for not lying and at least appearing uncomfortable that he couldn’t tell Daniel’s lover how he’d died.

“When?”

“May 12th.”

That hit Tony. They’d talked on the phone on the 9th. Daniel had had a trip planned. Something to do with his work, and he hadn’t said more than that.

“Can you tell me how? Was it quick?” It seemed like a stupid question, but Tony was going down his cop list now. Where, when, how, who or what.

O’Neill looked away with a wince. “No,” he admitted. “It wasn’t quick.”

It had likely been painful then. Slow and painful. Tony did and at the same time didn’t want to know how an archeologist attached to USAF could get into a situation where he’d suffer a slow and agonizing death. He really wanted to ask, but he knew O’Neill wouldn’t tell him. Classified. State secret. National security. Tony knew the terms at least.

“Is there a grave?” Tony didn’t know if he really wanted to see it any time soon, but if O’Neill couldn’t even give him that¬–

“In Colorado Springs. I can give you the address.”

Tony nodded. “Please.”

It was little enough. They’d finally reached the bench and Tony sat down, feeling like the strength of his bones had been sucked out of him. O’Neill remained standing and faced him. He seemed kinder now than earlier, his features softer.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. DiNozzo.”

“Tony.” Now his eyes did go blurry.

The Colonel nodded. “Jack. It’s good to meet you.” He grimaced. “I mean-“

“I know what you mean. Good to meet you, too, Jack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t keep to the letter of official regulations concerning death notifications. Tony isn’t Daniel’s official next of kin, so Jack deviates a bit. I considered giving the cause of death (radiation poisoning) but then thought that such a reason would raise even more (classified) questions, so Jack doesn’t elaborate.
> 
>  ~~And no, there won’t be more from this universe. This only came out because I was jumped by a plot bunny in my kitchen. It’s a small kitchen, ergo, small bunny.~~ The bunnies have multiplied. I may add more one-shots over time.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony was tired, so very tired, dirty, and he stank. But it was a good exhaustion. A murderer had been locked up, a would-be victim saved; Sergeant Atlas would be okay.

Tony reached for the seatbelt fastener before Gibbs had even stopped the car. He’d been driving unusually carefully that night.

“You expecting someone?” Gibbs asked.

“Huh?”

It took a while for Tony’s eyes to adjust to the darkness and make out the darker shape of a man sitting on the front steps to Tony’s apartment; a familiar shape. That familiarity caused a bunch of alarm bells to ring in the back of Tony’s head.

“Expecting? No, I sure as hell didn’t expect _him_.”

The man looked up and a flash of light reflected off his glasses.

Tony pushed down, and the buckle of Tony’s seat belt hit the car’s B pillar less than an inch away from the window. A second click made Tony tear his eyes off the waiting man outside.

“It’s fine,” he told Gibbs. “Go home.”

“If you’re sure-“

“Absolutely,” Tony grinned. If it looked even half as hysterical as Tony felt, Gibbs wouldn’t move further than the next street corner. He tried to tone it down. “Seriously. Go home, boss.”

Gibbs snorted. “You go home, DiNozzo.” And he indicated the door with his index finger.

Tony rolled his eyes and got out. Various bruises pulled and ached. He focused on Daniel.

His ex had gotten up from the stairs and was waiting for him. He still showed the little nervous ticks that he’d had before ... before _he died_.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey, dead man,” Tony replied.

Daniel gave him long look up and down. “I, uh, guess your day hasn’t been so great so far either.”

Tony laughed. “I don’t even remember when this day started.”

“Should I... should I come back tomorrow? Or... at all?” Daniel grimaced.

“No. I’m -- really tired, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to miss that story. I have a feeling that it could be a movie.”

Daniel laughed awkwardly. “You have no idea.”

“Come on in, I’ve got coffee. I know I’m going to need at least one.”

* * *

Daniel blew into his coffee mug, making the steam blow up and fog his glasses. Then he took a sip. The taste brought back memories. It was little things like this that still caught him aback and made him remember things he hadn’t even realized he’d forgotten.

“So... can I ask?” Tony was slouched down in his chair on the other side of the table.

Daniel licked his lips. “It’s, uh, complicated. Very complicated actually.”

“That’s a no then.”

Daniel nodded and tilted his head. “I’m sorry.”

Tony sighed. “I get that.”

“You deserve more than that. Jack told me that he came by.”

“He did. In uniform and all. Didn’t think I’d ever get that visit.”

“I wish you hadn’t. I mean, not that I don’t think you deserved to know, I’m glad he found you and told you, but...” He shook his head and looked down into his coffee. “You know what I mean.”

“Don’t worry. I do.” Tony finally took the time to study Daniel. He was certainly cleaner than he felt or was himself, but the same signs of exhaustion he carried were visible in Daniel. “Are you okay? How long have you been... back?”

“Two months now. I would have come by earlier, but... took me a while to get back all of my memories. Jack had to... jump-start a few.”

If one of those jump-started memories had been Tony, he owed the Colonel one.

“Amnesia? Wow. Sounds like the plot of a terrible TV show. Like someone was trying to write you out of the series and then had to bring you back.”

Daniel laughed. While he had never been the movie buff Tony was, he’d never ridiculed Tony for it and willingly subjected himself to anything Tony wanted them to watch; he’d certainly never had the time or the desire to go out and watch a movie by himself in Colorado Springs.

“A very terrible TV show. I don’t think I’d want to watch that.”

“Oh I don’t know.” Tony shrugged. “The characters could be worth it.” And the look he gave Daniel brought back all kinds of memories for Daniel, all of the reasons why they’d accepted the drawbacks of a distance relationship.

But those drawbacks suddenly ached now, too. Sometimes Daniel had allowed himself to wonder whether they’d ever truly be together, whether Tony would ever come permanently to Colorado Springs, if he’d ever be there on team nights and if they could share a bed every night instead of every once in a while; if, maybe, he’d get clearance and Daniel could _talk_ to him.

But now wasn’t the right time for those thoughts, if ever. Daniel had been dead for a year, plenty of time for Tony to move on. And, right now, Tony was sitting across from him with exhaustion written into every movement of his body, his clothes dirty like he’d been underground, and it was long past midnight. Daniel shouldn’t even have waited for him.

“I should go,” Daniel said and gathered their mugs. He poured the dregs down the drain and put the cups in the dishwasher. Apparently his muscles remembered where to move more quickly than his brain did. “You need to sleep.”

He pulled one of his new business cards out of his wallet and laid it down on the table in front of Tony. It was one of his prepared ones, with his cell phone number added in handwriting to the standard office number.

“I’m in town until Monday. Call me tomorrow, if you want. I’d love to go have breakfast, whenever that will be for you.”

Tony nodded. He still seemed to be in a daze. Daniel hesitated. Usually this was where he’d leave Tony with a kiss. But he didn’t have that right anymore, even if he ached to comfort Tony after whatever hell he’d been through today; or rather, yesterday.

Tony made the decision for him. He reached out and put his hand on Daniel’s waist, right over the edge of his hip bone and the edge of his pants. He squeezed, pulled Daniel in a bit, rose and gathered him into a hug.

“I’m glad you’re back. I really don’t get it, but I’m not going to ask.”

“Thanks. I’m glad to be back, too.” He brought his arms up around Tony’s shoulders and squeezed. This was okay. If nothing else, they could be friends.

“I’ll call you. I hope I can sleep at least until noon, but then I’ll call you. Promise. Don’t go away.”

“I won’t,” Daniel promised. “I’ll wait.”

He pulled away. This time he didn’t resist the urge to stroke down Tony’s cheek. “Shower. Sleep.”

Tony laughed. “Ripe, huh?”

“A bit,” Daniel smirked. “But I’ve been there, so no worries. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Outside, Daniel glanced both ways down the road. He recognized the car with government plates up at the next crossing. He hesitated for a moment, but then pretended not to see it, perhaps too late to fool the agent sitting inside. Nobody approached him when he took his time getting into his rental car though, and nobody followed him back to his hotel in Arlington. He’d have to warn Tony when he called. He hoped that wouldn’t put a sudden end to whatever there still was between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters' opinions regarding TV shows are their own. They do not reflect the author's; not exactly at least. I used to be one of those people who believed that killing people off and bringing them back was bad character planning at best. Then things happened. Like Supernatural. Like Stargate. And remember Lord of the Rings?


End file.
